Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Hating this feeling
if i measure my life, there`s really nothing important.
if i look at the future, i see nothing but a blur.
why does people have to make me feel like my feelings arent important?
why does it hurt, 1000000x
i dont understand but all i know is that, the pain in my heart is the proof, that i wont be able to survive in this lifetime.
as much as i want to die early, i couldnt bring myself, it wasnt because of my friends nor my family nor my dreams
it was because i want someone to help me stand up when i needed it.
i mean, my friends can handle themselves even when i`m gone, i am not an important person for people to be worry about.
as i said, i havent done anything to make someone feel better, or for someone to trust me.
my stories are there, yet i never likes any of them.
because i do no good. its such a waste of time.
my studying? what`s the point of it, if im only failing.
sometimes i ask myself, what is the purpose of me living here if i bring no good to others or to myself.
i dont deserve to have anyone beside me, i never did.
i dont like it when my friends go like `you deserve to be friends with us?`
i really hate it when people do that, because i am the only one who knows the answer.
i am not a worth it person.
this is no me being emo this is just me with my thinking.
i hate too many people in the world.
including myself.
i dont know what love really is.
i dont know what hope is
all i know is that i am some kind of a demon,
i have no heart.
i cry, but it doesnt mean im hurt its because its automatic.
i laugh but it doesnt mean im happy it just happen
i worry but i really dont mean it, because i dont have feelings at all.
im a numb person.
and i accept that person in me.
yet i cant bring myself to love me.
because i have no heart from the very beginning.
everything around me is meaningless
everything i see is nothing but a trash
everyone who loves me i dont appreciate
everyone who helps me, i dont see it.
it is because i hate the world, everyone of you. everything reason that i live.
i hate men, women, children, everyone.
everyone JUST DECIEVE ME.
if i look at the future, i see nothing but a blur.
why does people have to make me feel like my feelings arent important?
why does it hurt, 1000000x
i dont understand but all i know is that, the pain in my heart is the proof, that i wont be able to survive in this lifetime.
as much as i want to die early, i couldnt bring myself, it wasnt because of my friends nor my family nor my dreams
it was because i want someone to help me stand up when i needed it.
i mean, my friends can handle themselves even when i`m gone, i am not an important person for people to be worry about.
as i said, i havent done anything to make someone feel better, or for someone to trust me.
my stories are there, yet i never likes any of them.
because i do no good. its such a waste of time.
my studying? what`s the point of it, if im only failing.
sometimes i ask myself, what is the purpose of me living here if i bring no good to others or to myself.
i dont deserve to have anyone beside me, i never did.
i dont like it when my friends go like `you deserve to be friends with us?`
i really hate it when people do that, because i am the only one who knows the answer.
i am not a worth it person.
this is no me being emo this is just me with my thinking.
i hate too many people in the world.
including myself.
i dont know what love really is.
i dont know what hope is
all i know is that i am some kind of a demon,
i have no heart.
i cry, but it doesnt mean im hurt its because its automatic.
i laugh but it doesnt mean im happy it just happen
i worry but i really dont mean it, because i dont have feelings at all.
im a numb person.
and i accept that person in me.
yet i cant bring myself to love me.
because i have no heart from the very beginning.
everything around me is meaningless
everything i see is nothing but a trash
everyone who loves me i dont appreciate
everyone who helps me, i dont see it.
it is because i hate the world, everyone of you. everything reason that i live.
i hate men, women, children, everyone.
everyone JUST DECIEVE ME.
our love lingers at 6:13 PM
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