Monday, February 15, 2010
Second Chance
Not everyone in this world was given a second chance. Just like me, I was not given a second chance. It was because the fact that I may have hurt the person that much or maybe he just totally erased his feelings for me. But either way, I think I have no right to ask for second chance.
At this very moment, I keep thinking of how he felt about me now. To be honest, it was rather lonely for me to think that there will be no more chances left for two people. We were young, I, especially did not know what exactly I was doing. I was stupid and naive. I was too self-centered and obsessed of someone.
I always end up with the wrong guy. As much as I want to make up those mistakes I made in my life, there isn't a way to do that. It would take decades to actually get to that point. Anyway, things are just too late to even begin with. Three years of me roaming around and fooling around. I thought that I actually know what love is, I thought that I already fell in love with someone. It turned out that those thoughts were completely wrong. I was rather hallucinating. I mean I admitted defeat. I knew that I should have been more observant and trusted more of my own feelings than just being a Hopeless Romantic This is one of the disadvantages. I love being in love and so every time I meet a new person/guy I tend to like them all of a sudden not really controlling myself because I like the idea of being in love. It is completely wrong of me and now that i know its own consequences I think I would just think over the things before I make a move or say something that might affect an individual person.
Because the one person that kept popping up in my head has to be erased here in my head. Because I don't want to be unfair anymore.
One last time, I admit that --- I do love him for the past three years and it took me that long, I actually have to go through this stage of getting infatuated before I realize that it has been him all these time. I think I found the last piece to my broken heart.
"I love you." Is what my heart and mind says now. I will no longer be asking for that second chance that I hoped existed in our vocabulary of feelings and forgiving.
At this very moment, I keep thinking of how he felt about me now. To be honest, it was rather lonely for me to think that there will be no more chances left for two people. We were young, I, especially did not know what exactly I was doing. I was stupid and naive. I was too self-centered and obsessed of someone.
I always end up with the wrong guy. As much as I want to make up those mistakes I made in my life, there isn't a way to do that. It would take decades to actually get to that point. Anyway, things are just too late to even begin with. Three years of me roaming around and fooling around. I thought that I actually know what love is, I thought that I already fell in love with someone. It turned out that those thoughts were completely wrong. I was rather hallucinating. I mean I admitted defeat. I knew that I should have been more observant and trusted more of my own feelings than just being a Hopeless Romantic This is one of the disadvantages. I love being in love and so every time I meet a new person/guy I tend to like them all of a sudden not really controlling myself because I like the idea of being in love. It is completely wrong of me and now that i know its own consequences I think I would just think over the things before I make a move or say something that might affect an individual person.
Because the one person that kept popping up in my head has to be erased here in my head. Because I don't want to be unfair anymore.
One last time, I admit that --- I do love him for the past three years and it took me that long, I actually have to go through this stage of getting infatuated before I realize that it has been him all these time. I think I found the last piece to my broken heart.
"I love you." Is what my heart and mind says now. I will no longer be asking for that second chance that I hoped existed in our vocabulary of feelings and forgiving.
our love lingers at 4:25 PM
0 people said this is meant to be
0 people said this is meant to be
